Maryam Al-Rubaiee
Mr. Cohen
ENG2D
Sept 9th
Diagnostic Creative Writing
The knowledgeable team of travellers embarked on a journey to the Brazilian Amazon, one of the world's least explored rainforests. Despite the fact that many areas of this vast rainforest have been largely overlooked in thorough ecological studies, these researchers are extremely determined to change this. They encounter a wide variety of animals, some of which are astonishingly rare, as rare as the unknown. One of the travellers advised them to carry their research to the tops of the towering trees in the hopes of discovering some fascinating information to report back home. It was an uneasy decision; admittedly, they had come slightly underprepared. But what was the worst to happen?
The group voyaged deeper into the Amazon, the towering Kapok trees fiercely battling for sunlight above them. They looked for anything that could give their team easy access to the lush treetops, where they would conduct the last of their research. They stopped in their tracks when they came across something nearly surprising. Unbelievable. A man-made bridge…this far into the forest? The overpass seemed to be decades old; thick branches of neighbouring trees twisted along the handles. It was a fascinating sight to behold. Countless theories swirled through their minds. Could this mean this part of the Amazon has already been discovered? Did this determine whether or not it was safe to move on? Of course, they wouldn’t know the truth until they saw it for themselves.
The group decided that 3 of them would check the stability of the bridge; the rest would stay behind. As the trio walked down the ageing, fragile bridge one by one, it creaked and groaned with each footstep. Once they managed to reach the midpoint, the sounds of the forest worsened, whilst it continued to echo, and echo, and echo…one of the explorers turned back warily, trying to make their way back to the rest of the group. Before they could take another step, the winds became furious; they screamed along the trees, making the bridge teeter wildly! The old, rickety bridge swayed side to side like a pendulum.
S - I’ve used a lot of different language features.
I - I need to improve my usage of adjectives, adverbs, and sentence types.
R -
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